Why the Other Side Prefers Gowns
When you think of ghosts, it’s always
a white-robed , long-haired creature screaming “why did I inherit this
soul?!” Recently, I was watching a horror movie in Telugu (why? No idea, probably needed to feel alive),
and the apparition was—no surprises —a vengeful woman.
Hiding under the dining table, a thought hit
me: Why are all ghosts in movies only women? And why are men always the ones in
Lungis running around with a vermilion smeared coconut in hand chanting prayers
incoherently
Here are my 2:00 AM thoughts on why
men make terrible ghosts:
Male ghosts would show up in faded T-shirt and shorts. That’s not a haunting, that’s just friend who hasn't paid even once for a routine coffee meet in three months. A vengeful ghost needs a flowing saree or nightgown (normally white)to float. That’s proper etiquette. Further,a male ghost in a white saree would at best be a Beautiful catastrophe
Movie Directors know a high-pitched girl scream ripping through Atmos spatial Audio sends shivers down the spine of even the stout hearted- it hits different. A male ghost would just stand in the corner complaining about not getting his tea on time or asking if anyone saw where he left the remote.
People generally agree that horror is just real life with ghosts. Are they saying women are devilish in real life? (not me..not me..) ..just kidding!
Honestly, if a chap dies, he’s not going to haunt a house. I suspect that in the beginning all ghosts were men, but they were too busy getting lost, so they just became lost souls asking the Angels for directions.to Afterlife: "Is this exit A-21" ?
Female ghosts are preferred by movie-goers because they are vindictive. A male ghost would get distracted easily, haunting the fridge, looking for a snack. A woman ghost? She’s waiting 22 1/2 years to kill you for taking her charger.
Trivia: Wrote this at 2:30 AM.. in eerie silence Only the whispering hiss of a light breeze and the pitter-patter of raindrops was audible. .(but posted at a more “Civilised” hour). Wasn’t scary, coz I was already thinking of Breakfast ideas for the morning
Dedicated: To all the male ghosts (who are NOT
woman) ,probably just haunting the TV, trying to figure out how to watch re- telecasts of the Football World cup and IPL
What are your thoughts on this
cinematic mystery ?
