Indraprastha
Giggle & the Holocaust
Thanks to my friend for his terrific.suggestion,I am
determined to harass you with this torrent of torture. When I informed him of
my intention to write this blogpost he demanded his name to be featured
prominently. Therefore I have acceded to Pithukuli’s command . But,then I felt that the idea of sharing my
candid thoughts on “.Navigating
Life in the Facebook Age” could prove to be remarkably uninspired. Pithukuli
came to my aid once again& added to
it, what if this platform existed at the time of Mahabharatha & the Kurukshetra
war.?
So here’s how the Kurukshetra War becomes a bizarre online
roast where Bheeshma Pitamaha, Kauravas , Shakuni Mama and the Pandavas battle it out using status updates and trending reels
Sanjaya was
in deep thought.: Suspecting that
his Divine “Divya Drishti” was
getting a bit rusty he decided to create
and manage a Facebook page named “Back
to practicing my Divine Vision #DharmaWins #TotalWarOver."
Moments after Sanjaya added members of “Kuru” lineage in the group Chat threads & posts began flooding in.
Sanjaya : Feeling
excited—with Dhritarashtra.ЁЯФ┤
LIVE NOW: Streaming the Kurukshetra War straight from the battlefield! ЁЯУ║⚡ Log in for live updates, heroic take downs, and
strategic insights. You won't want to miss a single second of this historical
clash.
Duryodhana logged
in to boast about his 11 Akshauhinis ,(the massive combat
formation) but a viral status from Lord Krishna crashed the Kaurava servers.
.Day 1 of the Kurukshetra
War started with a Facebook Event invite titled "Total Annihilation of Dharma - Bring your own weapons! “
Duryodhana,
looking awesome in his silver Armour, went live from the battlefield with the
caption: "Feeling mighty, gonna beat
up some Pandavas now, might delete later.” #HastinapurRocks
#AkshauhiniLife.
Shakuni Mama kept forwarding shady,
unverified forwards. “Forward this to 10
cousins or the Pandavas will take your kingdom!”
Bheeshma Pitamaha
finally joined Facebook, but his profile picture was a default sunrise with the
quote "Silence is golden.”
Within seconds, Dusshasana tagged him in a 50-picture album titled
"Hastinapur Fun Trip 3067 BCE.! " filled with blurry photos of
himself & Shakuni Mama plotting at
the local Gambling ( dice) joint.
But the comment section
immediately broke down. Karna liked his own post,
Shakuni Mama dropped a comment:
", why you so tense ? Just roll the dice, da!"
Arjuna changed his
relationship status to "It's Complicated" after a
very public spat with Karna on his timeline.
Karna had commented on Arjuna’s
archery post: "Bro, Photo shopped.!
Professional archers use natural lighting."
Meanwhile, Draupadi re-posted one of her earlier comments on
Facebook from the swayamvaram. The caption read: "Feeling cute, might drop a
bow later, IDK. ЁЯТБ♀️ЁЯП╣"
Her inbox was instantly flooded with friend
requests from five very confused brothers and an angry Duryodhana
Meanwhile, on the Pandava
side, things were moving at a much slower pace.
Arjuna was scrolling
through his feed in tears. He had just seen a 4K drone video of the Kaurava
army and commented: "Bro, these guys
have 11 Akshauhinis and I have only 7. I don't want to fight, I just want to go
to Mount Raivataka & meditate”
Things hit a boiling point
in the middle of the Kurukshetra War.Arjuna checked in on Facebook at the
battlefield with the status: "Feeling down. Mentally blocked.”
Lord Krishna immediately
replied in the comments section with a 700-verse pinned comment, breaking down
the Bhagavad Gita for him. It was essentially a massive motivational thread
that read: "Do your duty, kiddo.
don’t worry about the likes. DM me if you need more clarity “
Krishna, the ultimate (trouble
maker/shooter ) and strategist, then uploaded the ultimate viral Reel titled "Karma - Just do your duty,
Macha!" The Reel became an instant hit, getting millions of views,
shares, and a personal check-in from Bhishma
Pithamaha himself
.Meanwhile,Duryodhana
kept updating his location status to "Safe"
inside a lake,
Bheemasena
dropped a hilarious reaction image of his heavy mace with the caption, "Tag someone whose head you want to
break today!" ,ferreted Duryodhana
out of his hiding place , poked him repeatedly in the ribs, and ruined
his whole day.
Finally, after the war,
Yudhishtira posted a status update that read: "We won, but at what cost?”
The comment section immediately blew up with Draupadi replying: "Cost?! You literally staked me in a
game of digital rummy”,
“O’ Bharatshreshtha the battle is done & dusted .Now Get off
your moral high horse and DM King Virata to reserve his beautiful Viratanagara
resort for the six of us. No better place to unwind ”
The internet finally broke with
Sanjaya sharing the ultimate post-war status: "Peace is
finally here. Will be back soon with latest
Divya Drishti updates” . #DharmaWins #TotalWarOver.
