A place called “Saade Road” ……… Always buzzing

 

A place called “Saade Road”

                       ……… Always buzzing

Unearthing  raw sporting talent has been a pastime for many years.  Friend Kaleem recommended  an expedition to  Mandi Mohalla ,an extention dominated by people of  one particular religion. ahead of Bakrid, when hundreds of kids would be playing  Tennis ball cricket on the maidaans . So immediately grabbed the opportunity,for old time’s sake ,though with some trepidation  & requested him to make plans . Thus began an expedition which was not confined to “Talent hunt ” alone  but took us on an insane romp which was not in any way relevant to talent scouting  yet  offered  significant insights into  various expressions of human nature and activity.

Navigating  the bustling Sawday Road in Mandi mohalla (popularly called “Saade Road “), the maze of  by-lanes and  its unending rows of   shops is a bizzare yet interesting experience The road is crammed with  hawkers calling out prospective customers to come  and check out their wares : , dry fruits, fake jewellery, towels, books, plastic  bags,cosmetics, safety pins, metal idols refurbished electronic goods, …( “psst”.: & occasionally pilfered items too),  name it,  they’ll have it !  . If one dares to  venture into the narrow  lanes he  is sure to find a shop that will have just what he’s  looking for & at vastly slashed down  prices .If a hard bargainer can  keep haggling  he is sure to  hear a price that will  excite  him

“Saade  Road “is truly bewildering. There’s business on the street, business in the innumerable shops lining the street and there’s business in the tiny  by lanes , gullies and on footpath. From Artificial silk Sarees to bolts of garishly printed synthetic fabrics, dress material, imitation jewellery, cutlery,& cosmetics , you can find everything under the sun here..

……….And it’s a place where you can even be killed if  a stampede occurs. The heavy jostling and the sea of humans pushing from behind will ensure that you will  reach your desired location without an  effort

On the footpaths Smoke from huge woks sizzling with coconut sized samosas  fills the air, Vendors scream, beckoning passersby with promises of the best snacks in town. Local version of pizza,   baked in terracotta dishes, a quirky fusion of Indian and Italian is in great demand. It is a carnival of food Out there.

We find Unani  medicine stalls  manned by gaunt ,unsmiling  gentlemen with white skull caps and hennaed beards, , shops with sacks full of exotic `jadi-booti’ healing herbs  doing roaring business.

The place is  “jugaad” for everyone ranging from  future brides searching bridal lehengas , beads, sequins, lace, embroidery, ribbons, and appliques, to young men hunting refurbished  mobile phones.

And there is enough evidence  to re-confirm that faith is everyhere. At the intersection of Mission Hospital- Sayyaji Rao road is a small Hanuman temple, at the end where of Saade Road meets Ashoka Road is the imposing St.Philomena’s church &  a few metres down the intersection, is  Masjid-E-Azam Ahle Sunnat Wal Jamat on Ashoka Road.

Nevertheless, faith and belief in the power of sacred ritual  run high here on Saade Road   

As we go, we find  there is a coconut ready to be broken , a candle waiting to be lit , & a packet of incense about to be burnt. The packed crowd of people, perceptibly less affluent are certainly very rich  in this fascinating  quality called faith . As we emerge from  the sea of humans, the thought that  that someone, somewhere  is taking note rings out in the mind .

 .And yes spotted  half a dozen wide eyed kids on the maidaan , convinced them and received their  parents’  permission “Nimmdu Kaige Kottiddeevi”.

Now the “Chal mere Ghode” grind will begin !

Fandom ……..beyond unwavering loyalty

 

Fandom

         ……..beyond unwavering loyalty

Standing outside Chamundeshwari  devi temple Parama  prayed “.Holy mother, Please bless me & make it happen this time”, His elder sister was in her  late  30s and  ‘neighbors  would not miss an opportunity to remind him.. “Prabha too is not getting any younger” he consoled himself  Parameswar Vadiraja , or PVR as he was popularly known   was getting desperate and wished  to re-connect with his protector & God mother Padma without further delay., anticipating some benefaction.

He was determined to achieve it this time.Luckily   a second opportunity was opening up after the debacle  last year

 PVR had almost accomplished it a couple of years back. But when he arrived at Holy Sangam, the place fixed for the meeting, his heart sank. Thousands of delirious  devotees had already assembled as early as 3.00 am. He had to do with watching the flower decoration (ಪುಷ್ಪಾಲಂಕಾರ)   & “warding off the evil eye".ritual (ಕುಂಬಳಕಾಯಿ  ದ್ರಿಷ್ಟಿ  ಪರಿಹಾರ).for the enormous  Utsava,murthy.that was being carried around .There was no way he could enter the Sanctum .His attempt ended in  failure.

Not able to withstand taunts from friends any longer, he decided to consult astrologers practicing different techniques, seeking success for his attempts.

He engaged “Kollegal Puttashamachari” to perform Chandika Homa for Devi Gayathri in an attempt to succeed  this weekend,

  “Galige” Narayana” promised  him  Success if  set out from home at exactly 2.16 am .

However “ Vaastu” Govinda”  did not approve. He advised PVR to install a Chinese “Happy Man” idol in front of his bed.He even offered to sell him one

On the festive day, Parama  was up and ready. Carefully following all the rituals prescribed by the various Astrologers he reached the Precincts. Even at that unearthly hour some 800 people had converged. On the venue, He was not ready to lose this opportunity. Parama  dodged the line .climbed on to the guard rails and “Swam” over the heads of hundreds of people  towards the Sacred  Window.  He knew he had finally made it !!

An year earlier, his attempt at getting the tickets for “Mayura” had failed  but   he made up for that..Now he would be able to participate  in  the milk abishekam for the enormous   Utsavamurthy (plywood Cut out)  in front of the Theatre , the   Aarthi   &  coin shower  in the sanctum when Annavru his God  appeared  on the screen! He himself had saved a bagful of 5 Paise,&  10 PaIse Coins.for the big occasion. Now he had to wait for the Release of Annavru’s “Premada Kaanike” in a few days

 

For “Bhaktha” Parama ,and thousands of "devotees" like him , beloved Annavru was God incarnate  and the legendary single screen theaters Chamundeshwari, Prabha,Sangam, Lakshmi, Gayathri,,Padma Shantala, Rajkamal  were the sacred temples  that brought  God  before them !

Having spent the best time of my life watching countless hysterical scenes like the above from very close quarters ,I have attempted   to “freeze-frame” scenes of the riotous  revelry through this dramatized post, intentionally exaggerating the intensity  of certain events & hoping, it will rekindle and archive treasured memories of the magnificent  “single screen"  cinema halls.

Those  born in the 1950  60 70 s  used to wait for the day when they could head to theatres and immerse themselves in the joy of  watching movies,  incessantly munching groundnuts  .The halls that once reverberated with the noise of whistles, catcalls and people clapping & dancing on aisles , have gone silent & on their  way to extinction. Only the memories of the golden days remain.

Not absurd , just different reality

 

Not absurd ,  just different reality

Preface: This post is dedicated to “inspiring” Whats-app posts by the more Sociable members of “OUR” family & some  random (time pass) conversations . I find the  subject  intriguing , so deserved a place here on my blog

 

The dialect spoken by the ordinary people particularly in the southern Karnataka region ( Bangalore,Mandya,Mysore areas ) generally permits one to express his views in a most pithy manner particularly when tempers are frayed and things move towards a physical scuffle ( or sudden capitulation to the other person’s dominance).

 Hogooou (or hogaaayee) is an unique lyrical expression used frequently by the locals which gives an impact far in excess of  a hundred    f #&^@$……..yous . And it requires  very little effort to say it.

Here’s a sample:

Prospective commuter, Waving down an Auto   “ Guru “How much for Devaraja         Market Oo?

Auto Driver (Smoking Chimney):  nonchalantly smoking beedi,shows index finger (Universal sign denoting Rs.100/-)

Prospective commuter  : “aarrrgh” ! “ VOOOooaa” Flexes  palm with five stretched          out fingers (Universal sign denoting Rs,50/- only)

Smoking Chimney: blows  beedi smoke in the face of person ,

“aarrrgh” ! “ “ooon” Vigoursly shakes  stretched fingers &palm in Quick alternating clock wise-anti clockwise motion( universal sign signifying  “no”)

Person: lets out a piercing “Hogooou”

Smoking chimney scoots, shaking his head & hand vigoursly  uttering explectives              * % && # ….. (drowned in the engine noise).

Prospective commuter’s  “Hogooou” wins him the point

Me: Should I try this sometime? Hmmm.

The use of English words in casual conversations in  Kannada is a common phenomenon among all classes of people .The resilience of  the dialect is astonishing. A conversation can happen using  short words, monosyllables or  just  Syllables ..

 

Sample this:

Dude walking past ( with flowing hair, dark glasses, dressed in Tee shirt,Levi Jeans,        with vermilion mark on forehead ………& Hawaii Chappals.) approaches shopkeeper       for Directions: 

“Swami…Palace Oo”  ? Waving upturned palm side to side (universal sign for seeking information)

Shopkeeper ( paan juice dripping from edges of mouth): “Left ,  Straight Oo”, 

Flowing Hair,….,….,…Hawaai chappals( perplexed )  “ Left O ? ,   Straight O?”

Shopkeeper (wiping betel juice with back of palm), impatiently with a dismissive      wave of his hand : “Left Oo,  Straaaaight Ooooo”, 

 

 An additional vowel “a” “e”, or  “o”  added on at the end of  the same word  accurately changes the answer to a question. Incredible isn’t it?

It is common knowledge that squabbles break out regularly on streets       providing moments of great (free) entertainment /excitement to onlookers. It is proved that certain noises (vowels only) when delivered at the right volume & modulation   can generate the same effect as delivering a K,O punch .

The skirmishes normally begin with a few choice epithets, progresses to collar holding ritual and ultimately to screaming  “LaAeee or Ooyeee” by the contending combatants ( &  a few excited onlookers too). It is also generally agreed that the one who roars the loudest LaAeee or  Ooyeee as the case may be, Is the winner. Lethal , yet non-violent. (Psst.Must confess that I rather enjoy  watching these duels.)

There are more hidden aspects in  the dialect spoken in ಹಳ ಮೈಸೂರು (HalaeMysooru)    I now intend   visiting  roadside vegetable markets set up mostly by people from nearby villages to discover  unique  nuggets from their conversations & attempt to  write more.  Suggestions are  welcome Oo

 

 

go a little crazy …………. to stay sane

 

go a little crazy

                …………. to stay sane

 Like most people I love to check on  latest consumer accessories and I have even put down views  about the newest ones in the market occasionally. But I never claim that mine is an innovation Blog. Neither is it a spiritual  blog though I have expressed  a few thoughts at times.  Anything unpredictable or characterized by unexpected traits provokes me to write. This time around, it was my friend and his strong desire to buy a weird looking  wrist watch

Now, “Friend” ( to conceal identity) is nothing like persons (normal ie.)  around us. While others  verify the make and technical specs, before buying a Gadget , Friend typically decided to buy a laptop purely for its colour.  He  almost bought an obsolete  phased out model of a vanishing  brand because they happened to be the only ones with his favorite “Fandango”Violet”  colour key Pad. It was only after some timely coaxing , serious threats  & fierce emotional blackmail by friends that he reluctantly settled for a    Lenovo Pro

 The other day when he suddenly  decided  to buy a wrist watch,(a failed model  of a dead brand) , all of us; his friends,  aware of his cantankerousness   knew that the purchase was inevitable. and so it might just be a good opportunity have some  entertainment at his expense.  A couple of us agreed to accompany him on the rendezvous

We soon found out that none of the popular stores was selling that particular model. We followed stubborn “Friend” as he set out on a wild goose hunt,.  . He somehow managed to find  the number of a retailer who claimed to have these  wrist watches .We called up the number to confirm the availability and was greeted by an extremely excited man. He confirmed that he had the “psychedelic purple  ” Wrist Watch  that  dear friend was yearning for  and offered to send his shop assistant (SA) to guide us to his store. “Customer is  king” . I guess our Mr. Vendor  truly believed in this.

As we zig-zagged through the narrow lanes in search of the store , without warning  a man jumped from behind us . “Silent Thief”?.he muttered excitedly.   Our first reaction was to bolt .” Silent Thief ”?  Are you here for the .” Silent Thief”? he repeated .Closer examination revealed that he was trying to help . Fancy that !  “Yes.we are” ! The weird purple wrist watch was called….. “Silent Thief ”. We followed our visibly Excited “Friend” & the strange random SA into a dingy building.

 

we walked through  a dark narrow  corridor  which led into a  room. A gigantic man sat across the table nervously twiddling his fingers ,waiting for us. The size of the room and the way Mr. Giant placed  in the centre across the  table  introduced himself as the owner of the “company” was   like a scene straight out of a  third grade Bollywood Dacoit Movie.. &  he  reminded us of the notorious  filmy villain Mogambo. we  never imagined that man-mountain  would be so eager to receive us  . So much for silent thief !

 

Mogambo explained at length  to us how his company along with his  “corporate” partner would soon revolutionize the wrist watch market in India. “S A ” barged into  the room and  held out “silent thief” . Ecstatic  Friend   grabbed it & waving jubilantly  to everyone even attempted to give  a high five to Mogambo who was exulting with   (malicious ?) satisfaction . The excitement in the store was palpable until S A  realized that his job was done. He asked us to “carry on” and left. Mogambo  kept rambling on,

Finally, “Friend” holding his prized   watch  close to him  made the payment and got up to leave, all the while   trying to convince us how  “Silent Thief”  was way “cooler” than anything else in the market. As we walked out of the store we  were surprised to see        S A on the pavement wearing  big headphones and  humming a tune .He was  happily applying Mehndi designs on the palms of half a dozen giggling young women. “a jack of all trades”!  As  elated “Friend” flashed a thumbs up at the him ,SA reciprocated with a “Tilted head" trade mark    Devanand   nod .As an after thought he shouted  “ Sir ‘mythic kaarma’ expected next week. Do  call  if you decide to buy”

Walking towards our parked car, I doubted if this absurd “Silent thief”  buying escapade could be documented effectively !  Some nuances (read absurdity) of  undiluted eccentricities are truly better experienced than read, But,I have dared to attempt..

 

Picky - for the "Right" reasons

 

Picky….for the “ Right" reasons

 

Getting off the autorikshaw I was about to enter Devaraja Market to buy vegetables. I felt  someone tapping my  shoulder from behind .It was an unexpected surprise to meet one of my High school Classmates.

 Exchanging  pleasantries, I  suggested  that  we should meet at leisure to  try & recollect school day  memories and was about to leave.

 “why not now?” he pleaded ,holding my hand. “ my wife in the  shop over there purchasing clothes ” he said pointing to one of the many shops on either side of the market entrance. At the shop the lady was  carefully inspecting  heaps of dresses pulled out from the racks by the Shop keeper.  Friend introduced me to her  “Nimma wife barlillva”.? she asked In a tone that suggested admonishment,  I answered by only  shaking my head  . She “instructed” my friend to help her choose a dress. Instantly he held  a blue outfit  triumphantly aloft “Do you want me to look like a hospital Nurse”?

she hissed  “ Err, you’re right he replied.” he said and continued to rummage through the piles of clothing.  She  gave him a stern look and pointed to the loft  .Soon the couple had ransacked the shop..The shopkeeper looked on helplessly. I wanted to leave but my friend implored me to stay .  The shopkeeper even offered two wooden stools for us out of pity . For the next  15 minutes friend exhibited great expertise by shifting his attention from conversing with me & Selecting Clothes .   

                                            

I discovered that the Lady was averse to shades of Red, Crimson, orange,  etc, “ I hate these  shades .Reminds me of Violence”.    “I am Not that Type” She chided  my  friend .I could imagine she not wearing red dress …But what about  not consuming vegetables like carrot, beetroot & Tomato? ( I almost forgot that I was here to purchase Veggies),   Ridiculous.

I soon understood that friend was a thoroughly domesticated man & followed order obediently .

All the While friend who was watching the mayhem ,unable to restrain himself any further  blurted feebly “Looks like you’re confused . You are very bad at selection”.

Not to be outdone she shot back “Yes Certainly” !.

At the earliest opportunity, I somehow,   sneaked out of the shop  and returned home. Suddenly remembering the Lady’s last rebuke  I could            not but wonder “ She definitely was not just referring to the Clothes”

As for me, I feel proud  that I have been resilient enough to dodge visiting any  clothing  Store with “Family”. And I am proud of my skill. 

 

the person (a dog thinks) you are

the person (a dog thinks) you are 

Assuming he was not run over by a speeding truck the previous night, he wakes up at day break and stretching himself trots off . No Morning ablution,  No brushing of teeth or Pooja.

His inbuilt instincts guides him like a GPS to the tea shop  a kilometre away where  he always succeeds  in  enticing  a compassionate soul by standing before him with baleful eyes  and wagging tail. And sure enough, a piece of Bun or a biscuit is tossed at him.

Having staved off early morning hunger pangs the stray Goes on a recce to the far end of the locality & thereafter takes a peaceful siesta on a  sand dump  by the roadside. When a dozen noisy mongrels arrive, the protagonist knows it will be lunch time shortly.

Before leaving the warm sand he doesn’t forget to socialize with the group:  Diving  & bouncing  around the sand, tumbling over one another , squealing  and howling.  The   prancing stops abruptly and the gang scampers away. 

For lunch, the stray   will seek out a non-vegetarian hotel preferably,in the crowded  mutton market lane  behind the vegetable market  where   chicken or mutton scraps are usually thrown  out in the open or into a cylindrical Concrete ring  acting as garbage bin.  The stray is assured of a good meal. Of course, he has to use all his fighting skills & survival instincts to outsmart rag pickers, tramps and members of his own kind   who arrive in hordes to grab  some rich nutrition.

Thanks to the municipality, there are any number of drinking water fountains and puddles from leaky pipes available in the vicinity.

After a clash with other mongrels , which our hero regularly wins, he  enjoys the  drink and occasionally a shower if he feels inclined . Thereafter he wanders  around the city’s localities  till late evening.

At  night , the dog arrives at one of the late night mobile kitchen (Biryani vans)  parked on the footpath at  strategic points. Before   they  close  shop around midnight  the remaining unsold food is emptied on  the   road side. While  rival  mongrel gangs are busy snarling and scratching each other, our stray makes the most of the situation &  gobbles as much as he can.

The water used to clean the large vessels and  the van forms a puddle of  what  can be loosely termed as  the Dog`s equivalent of  beer. And our  tipsy hits the sack …God knows where. .Tomorrow will be another day, unless some sozzled truck driver prefers to use his favorite ”right” of way   

 

I have never cared to observe   how a Dog (a stray at that) leads its life earlier  . But, Now …….  I shudder at the thought.

In retrospect …this looks  similar to  my grind  : Appealing to public administrators & flunkies  for trivial clearances , wrangling over petty procedural issues, terms & inevitable  “peace” agreement & doing chores that I detest, for that occasional  show  of empathy  to  get on the  good side of the clan  (read spouse).

 am I having a Dog`s life? …..Or am I ?