Janani Janmabhoomi

 

Janani Janmabhoomi

Happy 80th birthday to My Bharath, India, Hindustan . As We celebrate our freedom. I still feel moved by Our National Anthem & Vande Mataram. Yet, there’s  a lurking fear that patriotism is gradually taking on  shades of  an organized cult & showing   parochial. narrowness .  My idea of expressing  love for my country seems to be grossly  outdated  &  weak today.

Performative, aggressive acts of national devotion seem to be   replacing genuine civic responsibility..Instead of supporting the country’s laws, welfare, and constitutional values, it relies on loud symbolic, mob behavior like

:1. Posting  various profile frames,  melodramatic nationalist rhetoric, on Social Media without addressing real local issues & chanting slogans in public spaces as a  show Patriotism

2.Treating national flags or anthems as tools of moral superiority rather than respecting them as shared cultural history

3.Taking the law into one's own hands under the banner of protecting national or cultural pride, which often harms community safety.

:4. Praising armed forces  loudly online while completely ignoring the actual welfare of soldiers, Martyrs’ family veterans,

5.Shirking basic responsibilities like paying taxes, following traffic laws, protecting Historically relevant  Monuments  while professing  extreme love for the country.

. Even so, I still love my country.. Here are the patriotic things I did early in my life:

Learning the national anthem at school and the national pledge a little later was one of my foremost patriotic acts. I can still sing  the anthem fluently and recite portions of the pledge without referring. On this Independence day I make the following simple Resolutions to help me “grow” personally while honoring my country.

1.I pledge to keep my  neighborhood clean, respect civic rules, practice kindness, and build daily habits that support a stronger, greener society.

2. Stop littering and carry my trash until I find a bin.

3.Follow traffic and safety rules on every single ride or walk.

4.Save water and electricity at home to conserve national resources.

5.Plant a sapling  at every opportunity and take care of it as it grows.

6.Treat people from all backgrounds with same respect and kindness.

7 support a child's education.

8.Focus on honest work and continuous self-improvement.

9.Try to recite our National Pledge in its entirety without help .

10. And seek God almighty’s blessings to fulfill the Resolutions

 

      जननी     जन्मभूमिश्च    स्वर्गादपि    गरीयसी

 

 

Wilderness, greenery ,comedy, fiasco

 

Wilderness, greenery ,comedy, fiasco 

When four old college day friends met after decades, the memories came rushing back.and the years melted away. Reliving those times again brought a warm and bittersweet feeling, especially while reflecting on the dear friend who passed away, the ludicrous road trips made in the distant  past , the  silly moments becoming  the most treasured topics. Every shared memory brought back the joy of the  simpler time in life as if it happened yesterday

If you don’t speak Malayalam, the opening line of our trip will sound like a broken mantra: "Let’s just buy an audio  CD Kanro !" Imagine hearing that 100 times in a row. By the 20th time, I was ready to drive the car straight into the Arabian Sea and by the 60th, I was even ready to make a CD out of my own eardrums. Other than the wretched unpredictable monsoon turning the road towards the  Coast  into a car swimming-pool the traffic entering Gods Own Country and the "rural" resort that was basically a waking nightmare forced us to  deeply confront the unsettling reality of our  own mortality,

To combat the traffic K invented a game: Kollywood Medley. It turned  out, you can ruin any timeless melody by changing the lyrics to absolute gibberish We were screaming inanities at top volume, purely for "mental health" reasons. It’ had to be  either that or committing violent offences  in the middle of a traffic jam, right?

Still, I’d say it was the perfect Holiday. Pure rest, Kulukki Sharbath, Sulemani Chaya, fluffy aappam , Chenda Melam , and we had nature (teeming with Humanity)  all to ourselves. But let’s talk about how we handled the chaos, because we were clearly nervy.

 There was this "authentic" nature resort. When we booked, we were dreaming like, "Yes! Let’s be one with nature ! Rawness! Local Culture!  and all " Turned out, we are total city snobs who recoil at the slightest hint of ‘minor’ inconveniences .Yes that place was a nightmare—a total stampede, and the service was just a petite Hostess ‘Checchi’  laughing at us from time to time. As wise friend P pointed out, it was less “peaceful getaway" and more " Natural Disaster refugee crisis." We hit the road in a flash and made a hasty retreat from the much acclaimed Retreat. That resort will never see these five faces again for sure. So much about  the nightmare.

Now, let's talk about what I am  best at  naturally: “Award winning” Cynicism. We had planned a surprise party for V, and I happened to be the nominated  lead Character in orchestrating the deception. My friends always  trusted  my bluffing skills way too much—I don’t know if I should be proud or terrified that they know I’m such a crafty Mastermind. Be that  as it may , I did my  best to ruin a perfectly good surprise with my excessive Drama(edy)

Why the Other Side Prefers Gowns

 

Why the Other Side Prefers Gowns

When you think of ghosts, it’s always a white-robed , long-haired creature screaming  “why did I inherit this soul?!” Recently, I was watching a  horror movie in Telugu  (why? No idea, probably needed to feel alive), and the apparition was—no surprises —a vengeful woman.

 Hiding under the dining table, a thought hit me: Why are all ghosts in movies only women? And why are men always the ones in Lungis running around with a vermilion smeared coconut in hand  chanting prayers incoherently

Here are my 2:00 AM thoughts on why men make terrible ghosts:

Male ghosts would show up in  faded  T-shirt and shorts. That’s not a haunting, that’s just friend  who hasn't paid even once for a routine coffee meet  in three months. A vengeful ghost needs a flowing saree   or nightgown (normally white)to float. That’s  proper  etiquette. Further,a male ghost in a white saree would at best be a Beautiful catastrophe     

 Movie Directors know a high-pitched girl scream ripping through Atmos spatial Audio sends shivers down the spine of even the stout hearted- it hits different. A male ghost would just stand in the corner complaining about not getting his tea on time or asking if anyone saw where he left the remote.

 People generally agree that horror is just real life with ghosts. Are they saying women are devilish in real life? (not me..not me..) ..just kidding!

Honestly, if a chap dies, he’s not going to haunt a house. I suspect that in the beginning all ghosts were men, but they were too busy getting lost, so they just became lost souls asking the Angels for directions.to Afterlife: "Is this exit A-21" ?

 Female ghosts are preferred by movie-goers  because they are vindictive. A male  ghost would get distracted easily, haunting the fridge, looking for a snack. A woman ghost? She’s waiting 22 1/2 years to kill you for taking her charger.

Trivia: Wrote this at 2:30 AM.. in eerie silence Only the whispering hiss of a light breeze and the pitter-patter of raindrops was audible. .(but posted at a more “Civilised” hour).  Wasn’t scary, coz I was already thinking of  Breakfast ideas for the morning  

Dedicated: To all the male ghosts (who are NOT woman) ,probably just haunting the TV, trying to figure out how to watch  re- telecasts of the Football World cup and IPL

 

What are your thoughts on this cinematic mystery ?

 

When the World Was Small ……………& beautiful

 

When the World Was Small

                                  ……………& beautiful

The steady, rhythmic clop-clop-clop of hooves against the asphalt always brings it back. Long before the city was swallowed by the relentless sputtering of auto-rickshaws and the impatient honking of cars, our family’s ultimate weekend luxury was a ride in a Mysore tonga.

It was the mid 1960s, and the world moved at a slower, gentler pace. Going to the movies or visiting the old bustling bazaar wasn't just about reaching a destination; it was about the journey itself. The anticipation would build the moment father summoned the  tongawala our family’s Royal Court, Papaiah .We siblings would peek from behind the gates, eyes wide in expectation , waiting for  him to negotiate  horse & carriage  through  the gates.

When the wooden carriage finally pulled up, it felt like royalty had arrived. The tonga was a marvel of simple engineering—large wooden spoked wheels with Hard Rubber rims, a curved waterproof fabric hood that smelled of age and rain, and the unmistakable, earthy scent of semi dried green grass and horse sweat.

Climbing in was an art form. Father occupied  the front-facing seat beside the “Driver” while mother and elder sis & I claimed  the backward-facing rear seat . This was the prime spot., legs dangling over the edge, & feet struggling to reach the wooden footboard the world unfolding  before us in reverse.  Younger Sis & Kid Brother were usually   hoisted & squeezed in between the front and backward facing passengers. where they had to do with sitting cross legged. Grandfather, always dressed immaculately for the occasion followed on his precious “Made in England” BSA Bicycle. We didn't see where we were going instead  watched where we had just been, witnessing the city slowly drift away backwards

 Tongawala Papaiah would flick the leather reins, make a sharp, clicking noise with his tongue , and with a sudden, delightful jolt, we were off.

The ride was anything but smooth. Every pothole and cobblestone sent a vibration through the wooden frame, tossing us slightly in our seats. We  giggled uncontrollably with every big bump, holding onto the iron  railings for dear life while  mother nervously warned us to sit still.

As the horse trotted along the tree-lined avenues, a cool breeze  hit our faces, filtering through the massive canopy of old banyan and gulmohar trees.lining the streets. Along the way, the tongawala  occasionally brushed  the thin bamboo stick handle of the horse whip  against the side  into the wooden spokes of the carriage wheel to produce a clear clattering “tiky-taky-tiky-taky” noise —warning pedestrians to make way. It was a sound of sheer joy.

We would get down at the entrance of the Movie hall ( invariably Rajkamal, Prabha or Lakshmi ) . father would instruct Papaiah to pick us after the movie  ended,  On certain occasions we would  take a detour to Hotel Dasprakash on our return journey where we would be treated with  Jamoon & masala Dosa. Moving at a leisurely four miles per hour,after enjoying the snacks , listening to our parents’ reviews of the movie, & reminisces about their own childhoods, created a capsule of pure security and happiness.

By the time we reached home after the outing, hair  wind-tossed by the breeze, our stomachs & hearts were completely full.

Today, the Tongas have vanished from city streets, replaced by clatter of the Ubiquitous“Autos”,cabs, Buses & other forms of rapid transit. The old wooden carriages have mostly transitioned into historical relics or novelty rides at heritage sites like the palace,museum and Zoo. Yet, whenever life feels overwhelmingly fast, I close my eyes and listen closely. Somewhere in the quiet corners of my memory, the clop-clop of the horse's hooves,,Papaiah’s unique tongue clicking noise & the rhythmic clatter of bamboo stick striking against wheels  echoes on, a timeless reminder of a beautiful, simpler yesterday.

 

Littering the Universe …………. Cosmic pollution

 

Littering  the Universe

         …………. Cosmic pollution

 

Work is becoming dreary.. My future seems as steady as a leaf in high wind .The only thing I was depending on for consistency was my daily Rashi Palan. And now, some Random  Astrology Geek  goes  ahead and tries to mess with the ancient system by bringing in some 29^th Nakshatram.13th Raasi !  Just like that ! nonsense? !I mean All my life ( 74 Yrs,8 months,14 days) I've been a  Uttarabhaadra native, born under meena Raasi &  enjoy being  one.. I am at peace, the stability, the luxury, and not to forget the stubbornness Hmm. I swear to Almighty ( I believe in Him ) I possess those traits, I do I do ! And now suddenly some  meddlesome   humbug  tells me, " Err, Swami you're Aries-like from today". because of some turbulence in space .

 So you expect me to just turn  fiery like an Aries right away ? How? How? That's a lot of pressure, you know? & You want a 13th Raasi ? Then you come up with  a whole new Month  as well. You can't just shift us around to fit a newly "found" constellation .The Nakshatra system is so specific. This isn't similar to getting a seat in the bus..

Whoever you Astrological busy bodies  are, let me tell you: this is disastrous.! Show some respect,  We are Humans, we have feelings too. Maybe all of those feelings aren't as strong as mine, but they are still Feelings, , Go get a new month for yourself. Oh, you want a suggestion? I don't know but how about        Shaku-neeee since you play around  Shakunam .  Sounds good to me! And think about  astrologer tradesman's' plight. A whole new business challenge for them, isn't it? Now they have to change their entire Approach. Damn, guys, I feel bad ya .And what about those you have made trishankus ?

Do they even know what they are like, who to marry, or which horoscope to read   daily with their  morning coffee? How are they supposed to sleep at night?  At least I have Bejan Daruvalla’s Almanac “Ganesha Speaks” which  has gotten me  through everything,  and now I have to wait for the  release a massive, panic-induced update for this new chapter.But hear me now, my soulmate since birth , the one and only true love, Meena Raasi I will never leave you. Together, forever.

Thoosi Mani ate my breakfast”

 

“Thoosi Mani  ate my breakfast”

Meet K , a Bengaluru guy living in a sci-fi dream apartment filled with "smart" gadgets he genuinely believed had feelings. One morning, his affectionate robotic vacuum cleaner Thoosi Mani , froze mid-spin and started blinking dramatically at the router. Convinced his little plastic buddy was having an existential meltdown & was  enduring a profound, agonizing period of spiritual  desolation and questioning K panicked, wept on the floor, prostrated and begged his darling Thoosi Mani   to stay strong ! Terrified of a robot uprising, K spent three hours whispering mollifying life advice to Thoosi Mani  the vacuum cleaner so it wouldn't target him & grab his breakfast. He assumed the worst,  that the robot apocalypse had begun. He even frantically texted his friends  group chat, warning them to make peace with their microwave ovens, Air Conditioners, lawn mowers , biometric door locks m alarms & CC TV before the machines took over.

 His three-hour panic finally ended when his friend, the next door neighbour  walked in, hit "update" on the app, and rebooted the system. After all, Poor Thoosi Mani  wasn't plotting world domination , he was just downloading a boring bug fix for his carpet-mapping.

 

Clear as muddy water

 

            Weathered two agonizing acts of sheer absurdity and silliness today.

 

 

1. Clear as Muddy Water

 

Responded to an Ad by a  Company looking to  Appoint Area wise Distributors for its products, Acknowledging our interest and thanking us for responding to their AD , Received the following in reply:

 

Subject: Response to Distributor Inquiry & Application Process

 

Thank you for your interest in becoming an Area Distributor and for ………………….responding to our advertisement. We appreciate your prompt reply.

To proceed with your application, kindly follow the instructions outlined below with  your credentials for review:

Application Form: Please visit our official website at (…. website link), download the Application Form, and print it.

Documentation: Fill in the required details. You must attach self-attested copies of the following documents:

Aadhaar Card ,PAN Card, latest passport size photo, Proof of Address (Utility Bill/Voter ID/Passport)

Submission Process: Enclose the filled-in Application Form and self-attested document copies in an envelope.

 

How to Send :  Options for submission:

  Seal the  envelope  containing all the above mentioned documents  & send it to ( ….Full Address)  via Speed Post , Courier or  by e-mail

 

Now, I am still trying to find out how a sealed envelope containing personal docs. Can be sent by e -mail ?

                                      

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

2.  Baffling  inquiry

 

I   visited  to the Police Station for some document verification &  was Directed to meet the Station Head,. I was first asked to wait outside the officer’s cabin. An  ASI  was  processing a clueless village couple. The husband bowed deeply, while his wife giggled continuously—presumably thrilled to be in the august presence of 'The Law.'The resulting, unintentional comedy played out like an investigative Goundamani – Senthil routine

 

ASI: From when are you together?

Husband: "Always, Swami."

ASI: (Menacingly) "You must answer properly!"

Husband: "Yes, Swami".

Wife : (Interjecting , proudly) "We’ve been married for over 30 years, "Buddhi!"

ASI: "Children?"

Husband: "Yes, Swami."

ASI: (Impatiently)    H......... o...........     w            m........ a........ n..........  y ?"

The husband holds up 3 fingers.

ASI: So three children, is that right ?

Couple: (Nodding vigorously) Yes, Swami!

ASI: "How many are boys?

Wife: No, Buddhi.

ASI: (Matter-of-factly) So, no male child. & without batting an eye-lid  “were there any girls” ?

Couple: Staring blankly into the abyss as the realization of their offspring's logistics sets in.

 

Their expression of sheer astonishment was priceless. Just as I was about to scream from the existential suspense, the Station Head arrived and I was ushered  in. Fifteen minutes later,. as I walked out, the interrogation was still in progress . The bewildered couple was now dumbstruck, and the wife’s giggles had permanently vanished !

    

 

 

 

நாட்டாமை ……தீர்ப்பு , தடுமாற்றம்

 

நாட்டாமை

  ……தீர்ப்பு , தடுமாற்றம்     

,

நிச்சயிக்கப்பட்ட  திருமணத்திற்குப்  பிறகும் கூட ஜோடிகள் ஒருவரையொருவர்  காதலிக்க வாய்ப்புகள் உள்ளது  என்று சமீபத்தில் அறிக்கை ஒன்று தெரிவித்துள்ளது.. அனைத்து 18 பட்டி கட்ட பஞ்சாயத்துகளுக்கும் , நாட்டாமைகளுக்கும்   இது பெரும் அதிர்ச்சியாக அமைந்தது .   

     

2003 -ஆம்  ஆண்டில்  தங்கள்   வாழ்க்கைத் துணையின்  மரணத்திற்காகக்  கண்ணீர்  சிந்தியவர்களில்  951/2 சதவீத திருமணங்கள்  குடும்பத்தினரால்  நிச்சயிக்கப்பட்டிருந்தன  என்று அந்த அறிக்கை கூறியது . மேலும்  நிச்சயிக்கப்பட்ட  திருமணங்களிலும்  ஏதோ ஒரு வகையில் காதல் மலரத்தான்  செய்கிறது  என்றும்  கூட  அந்த அறிக்கை   தெரிவித்தது..

 “ நிச்சயிக்கப்பட்ட  திருமணங்கள்  மற்றும் காதல் திருமணம்  இரண்டிலுமே காதல்  மற்றும், திருமணம்   நிகழ்கின்றன  ஆனால்  அவற்றின்  வரிசை மட்டுமே  தலைகீழாக  உள்ளது’’  என கணக்கெடுப்பை  நடத்திய   நிறுவனம்  தெரிவித்துள்ளது .

 

துணைவரின்  மறைவின்போது  அழுவது  என்பது  ஒரு  வழக்கமெ   தவிர, அது  அன்பின் அல்லது  பாசத்தின்  அடையாளம்  அல்ல என்று வாதிடும்  பழமைவாத  நாட்டாமைகள்    இக்கருத்தை        தீய நோக்கம்    கொண்டதாகக்  கூறி  தீவிரமாக  நிராகரித்துள்ளனர்.

"காதல்  என்பது  முற்றிலும்  சட்டவிரோதமான  செயல்," என்று  எட்டையபுரம்   கட்ட பஞ்சாயத்தின்  பெரிய  நாட்டாமை  பசுபதி  பதிலளித்தார் . தன்னை ஒரு சமூக  நலப்பணி  ஊழியர் என்று கூறிக்கொண்ட அவர், "குடும்பத்தினரால் திருமணம் செய்து வைக்கப்படுவது  ஒரு வழக்கம்., நம் பண்பாடினபடி  பெண் ஒரு குடும்பத்தின்  நிரந்தர  சொத்து அல்ல, மேலும் ஒரு ஆணுக்கு குழந்தைகள்  தேவை.!. இதில்  காதல் கத்தரிக்காய்கெல்லாம் எங்கே  இடம்  இருக்கிறது? " என்றார்.

பக்கத்து கிராமத்து  இளைஞன் ஒருவனைக்  காதலித்ததற்காகத்  தன் சொந்த மாமன் மகளையே  கொன்ற அந்த நாட்டாமையை  மதிப்பும் பெருமையுடனும்தான்    கிராமத்து   மக்கள  .    நடத்தி வந்தார்கள் . தன் மனைவியை  நேசிப்பது பற்றி அவரை  தகவல் சேகரிப்பாளர்  விசாரித்ததில்  “ நாம் இப்போது இந்த விஷயத்தைப் பற்றி விவாதிக்க வேண்டாம். இது ஏற்ற சந்தர்ப்பம் அல்ல”. என்று அவர் கூறினார். 

         

செய்தியாளர்கள் குழு ஒன்று தன்னை நோக்கி வருவதைக் கண்டதும் அவர் குடிநீருக்கான பித்தளை சொம்பு , வெற்றிலை-பாக்கு பெட்டியை  சுமந்து படியே அங்கிருந்து சாமர்த்தியமாக நகர்ந்து  சென்றார்.