H 2 Oh No !
Sometime in 1425 ,Sri Vysaraya Tirtha of Channapattana, an Ardent Devotee of Lord Hanuman built Gaali Anjaneya Temple on the outskirts of Benaval ooru ( town of Guards) It is believed that earlier the idol of Lord Anjaneya had existed in the open for more than 800 years at the confluence of two sacred rivers Vrushabavathi and Paschimavati ( also known as Paschmavahini). Sri Vysaraya not only performed the sacred punarodharanam for the vigraha using water from the two sacred rivers but also built the beautiful temple with stone steps leading to the river Vrushabavathi. Sri Vysaraya Tirtha built 732 temples for his beloved lord During early times, the River Vrushabavathi was considered a seasonal river that used to flow in monsoons. It was once a serene river flowing through many localities of Bangalore.
Till the mid
1960s, Vrishabavathi river
,flowing some 55 Kilometers through Bangalore was considered a prime
picnic spot, visited by a large number
of people, some from far off regions to
spend good times on its banks.The clear
waters of the River was a source of livelihood
for thousands and also a place for
river water swimming ,lazing around and for holy Teertha snanam near the Gali Anjaneya swamy temple
All this changed as Bengaluru grew rapidly. The
flood plains and the vegetation filled banks of the river were consumed by
burgeoning lust for real estate In just
a short time the river lost its pristine
quality and turned into a stinking, slimy cess pool of filth .It is no wonder
that the younger generation recognizes and refers to the once pristine
Vrushabavathi river as.” ಕೆಂಗೇರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ”
The swirling river which once nurtured variety of avian and aquatic life and
served the needs of entire
western Bengaluru, has now been reduced
to a toxic, polluted drain The water once utilized as sacred ‘teertha’ has become
filthy and harmful. Unchecked flow of sewage & waste, is hastening the
death of the river. Sadly, Vrushabavathi is now categorized as one of the
fastest ‘deteriorating’ rivers of the country today.
Thanks to pollution and Apathetic attitude of
the population, the only sacred river originating and flowing from Bengaluru is
hurtling towards extinction.
“Restoring Bengaluru’s polluted Vrushabavathi
River to its original glory has become a major consideration for us “ the
local Government announced suddenly.
Various initiatives have been announced by the government and local body.
“Clean Vrushabavathi” ,’Revive the river’ are the current subjects for
discussion in every forum.
Talk
of revitalizing River Vrushabavathi has further received a shot in the arm with
the following incident:
Unkempt,
with long straggly hair , gaunt physique, attired in dirty shirt and pants
,nobody knew anything about him excepting that every day he would be found walking along
the banks of ಕೆಂಗೇರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ & reaching the Gaali Anjaneya swamy
temple before 9.30 am. He would sit on the stone slab adjoining the temple
wall slouched over, his long uncut hair covering the face (Anniyan style),and keep muttering incessantly .The lady in charge of
cleaning the temple precinct would place a plate of Temple Prasadam and half a paper cup of tea
in front of him, exhorting him to eat. But, the food always remained untouched
till the woman left. However, on arriving the next day she would find the plate
and cup empty and Hanuma, for that was his name ,pre-occupied with his
muttering.
Arriving
early on Saturday she did not find
Hanuma on the stone slab. At the same time she heard a lot commotion.
On his regular walk, Hanuma
had suddenly jumped into the thick slimy muck of ಕೆಂಗೇರಿದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ . and got entangled in the
metal grille erected by the local Chapter of DADI ( Distinctly Absurd Dumb
Initiative, apparently part of the
ಸ್ವಚ್ಛವೃಷಭಾವತಿ ಅಭಿಯಾನ ) to trap Garbage. The
contraption was being operated at that
time by a vagabond, drafted by the Mahanagara Nagara Palike official in charge. He spotted Hanuma and
called the official , who busy playing cards
at a tea shop near the temple. Even as the cacophony of
voices grew louder, Hanuma suddenly burst out from the drain, like Arjun Sarja in’ Mudalvan’ (or Anil Kapoor in ‘Nayak’ if you like) covered in a thick layer of
gooey slime sending shock waves among the onlookers.
He
was back on his favorite stone slab & resumed his (ab)Normal’ routine .
New moon day draws huge crowds to the Gaali Anjaneya temple and a near festival atmosphere prevails. On the said day, Sarojamma, after finishing her cleaning chores, placed the customary plate of food and tea before Hanuma. He suddenly tossed his hair back revealing his face. The lady let out a scream. A few temple staff came running. They stared in amazement. The frail and famished Hanuma now stood at nearly 6Ft. with huge muscles. His eyes opened wide .He bore a striking resemblance to Lord Hanuman . But he never spoke a word and sat on the stone slab in yoga posture “Vajrakaya Ramaduta Sri Sri Hanuma Swami” screamed Sarojamma and the rest followed.with overflowing emotion. The name stuck !
As
News and gossip spread, media began talk shows with a cross section of Citizens.Many who had no idea of the incident
, were still able to hog prime screen time.
However
the most sought after person was
Sarojamma. who received a cosmetic
makeover at the behest of her unemployed Husband. He also proclaimed that she was Vajrakaya
Ramaduta Sri Sri Hanuma Swamiji’s
official spokesperson.
Not
to be out done the government decided to test Hanuma
for the unique powers.he suddenly
acquired. The results confirmed the popular opinion flying around . Yes he was now bio genetically transformed
The poisonous,
frothing water which had wiped out all life in the river had altered Hanuma’s genetic
code and changed his physique. As media whipped up the hysteria , an odd assortment of people : Soft ware
professional who failed to get his Appraisal, engineer with no placement offers, jilted lover, failed
entrepreneur, ordinary people fed up of challenges in their lives, tried jumping into
ಕೆಂಗೇರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ to test their luck.
On condition of anonymity a paalike official spoke to me and shared
some inside information . “though unfortunate, the event has come with a silver
lining! Our citizens (read voters) were getting a little too impatient with us
in respect of the condition of river
Vrushabavathi. and our pathetic cleaning projects were always being castigated. But
this moron’s antics have overturned everything. People are now actually
complimenting us for letting ಕೆಂಗೇರಿದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ flourish! & for
preserving the river dirty!”
Holding
my arm and lowering his voice he whispered “Our Paalike is also seriously
considering packaging the Water of ಕೆಂಗೇರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ........err…. Vrushabavathi River and
marketing it . We’ve applied for
patent”! People have already decided that the holy water is “Sanjeevini’ can not only cure all
ills but also bestow super human powers .
Oblivious
to all the hullabaloo going on around him , one wonders what will happen to
Hanuma in the future.But there are strong rumours that Rajamouli ,Ram Gopal
Verma,the Producers of Big Boss and a few others are meeting Sarojamma &
Husband. Something cooking??
3 comments:
Hahaha ! That was a really good satire ! Kudos !
For a few minutes there , i was really thinking its all true , ‘how did I i miss the news item !’
Very well composed without a hint of irony , but tongue firmly in cheek!
Keep writing more such enjoyable snippets !
Best wishes .
Thought it was a travelogue when I started reading it. And then comes the sensational news! How did I miss it when local channels are all the time breaking such important news? Was going to google for information when the humour struck me ! Still rolling on the floor holding my stomach !
Mama - this was hilarious - I still cant decide if it true or fiction. Either way truly entertaining read.
Best Wishes,
-ARam
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