कृष्णं वन्दे जगद्गुरुम्

 कृष्णं वन्दे जगद्गुरुम्

During the Kurukshetra war Dronacharya’s son Ashwatthama, committed several unforgivable acts. He attacked the Pandava camp in the dead of night & killed  the five innocent sons of Draupadi while they were fast asleep. He then used a powerful forbidden “astra” in an attempt to kill the unborn baby of Uttara (Mrs. Abhimanyu)

Lord Krishna cursed Ashwatthama to live for 3,000 years as an lonely wanderer, suffering unbearable pain  from festering wounds on his forehead. He condemned him  to roam the earth without peace or companionship. He was the only person  to be punished with such a dreadful curse by Lord Krishna  for his gruesome  acts, while many other characters guilty of treachery & deceit  escaped with Admonishments & minor punishments (curse) by the Lord.

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People around me  believe that I possess an intense sense of Likes & dislikes and that I practice the latter trait in a brutal manner on  selected parts of my body  while exercising. The thumb on my right hand is supposedly the regular victim because I have been found using it for stabbing the channel button  on the TV remote incessantly.  I must confess that I find it  both stimulating  and entertaining. During one such carnage I chanced upon a spiritual discourse on compassion and its effect on our character.      

The discourse was so absorbing that I could feel myself  displaying certain traits that were being discussed in the telecast. My first horrifying thought was the fear of forgetting my nemeses and accepting them as my friends.

 Before long I noticed that many of my friends too exhibited varied reactions to this alarming  issue like sadness at not being able to enjoy superficial luxuries.(But, I suspect budgeting  was actually the  notable fear for many)

 While I am terrified  of my strange fear of forgetting adversaries, it appeared meaningless  to some others. The  fear just doesn’t seem to go away and I’m unwilling to remain passive to their attitude.

 Presently, soul-searching ( read Day dreaming) is my only occupation. I even consider that I have become a better person now ,after watching the TV guru.So I have decided to revisit the list of my detractors (Quite a long one) in an attempt to trim it.

 After a few  MSGs  certainly not out of any great sympathy, I have managed to shorten the list to some extent. But,having failed in  detecting even a shred of credibility in a couple of cases even after great effort, I have exercised my option and  conferred  on them the right to remain un-deleted on my list.

 Now you may wonder what all this has got to do with the story of Ashwatthama & the Kurukshetra war. Well, let me elaborate,

 I’ve now labelled the last two recalcitrant names in my list as ‘Ashwatthama’ 1.0 & 2.0. They are the ones whose attitudes I am unable to disregard. When even  Almighty Lord Shri Krishna could not restrain himself from punishing Ashwatthama with his harshest  curse, is it not too much to expect  a mere mortal like me to defy God and  be more  large hearted & benign ?. It is unthinkable that a human can even try to tamper with God's wisdom. I Presume that I now have the clearance &  there lies my attempt to becoming a nobler  person and still  having the pleasure  of  maintaining  a couple of antagonists. While  I struggle with  my eccentric fear of forgetting foes, it appears inconsequential to some others either due to lack of foes (really ?) or more desperate concerns. In fact, many feel relieved that they could forget (without forgiving ie) and continue pretending to be  honest.

 It is fair to assume that there are several Ashwatthhama variants running around in everyone’s life. ,There is really no need to ashamed  for not absolving such persons. After all we have Devakinandana, Dwarakadeesha Lord Sri Krishna as  source of vindication, guiding us in our attempt to become  embodiment of dignity.