Miracle mart

 

Miracle mart

 The biggest ever creation, bigger than anything else that one can imagine is “GOD" , the creator himself.

Strangely, it is HIS wrath and the disastrous consequences of his anger that symbolizes HIS Glory than His benevolence.

It is not Surprising therefore that accidents, misfortunes, catastrophes and anything beyond human control is attributed to “ GOD'S WILL”. As a result hospitals, examination centres, interview chambers are often prominent locations of  prayers to GOD than any temple, church or mosque.  That GOD universally referred to as “magnanimous”, “compassionate” etc; will decimate everything if enraged is a deep-rooted belief.

The more observant among men (Including Women) have realized this   “Fear of God” ensures instant profit and  hence the businesses of machinated religion are proliferating. Peculiar rituals, poojas and prayers have been devised . Dogged by perpetual hardship & pressures the simple, superstitious common man  easily  gets ensnared  in the trickery. As more people begin to  blindly follow the perpetrator he/she  gradually transforms into a Guruji, Baba, mathe, or Devi.

These tricksters , in general, are intelligent organizers and shrewd entrepreneurs and know the tricks of the trade very well. In the name of God, they  run lucrative businesses.  Startup costs and initial investment are negligible. The beard that they grow and the ‘costumes’ they select add to their respectability and influence. All that they need is a patch of land &  initially a gang of ‘chelas’ and gift of  gab to propagate their ‘mystical’ Powers Sadly, even people with knowledge &  power to reason conclude that   this is DEVOUTNESS .

Science has provided modern mankind with immense power of verification. However superstitions & blind-belief are in resurgence, not only in India but all over the world. A sad state of affairs indeed. And no one is more happy about this than the wily GODMAN who rides the road to Billions/crores .

 

The self styled religious Spiritual Gurus   have recognized the strong  nexus between politicians and religion. They have mastered the art of sowing fear in the weak minded & have started training their agents and apprentices to adopt the same dubious techniques in the political scene.  Gradually it will become more blatant.

Earlier Politicians enlisted goons to do their dirty work.  In time these goons themselves become active politicians.

Every one of these ruffians has his chosen GURUJI  on whom he totally depends to get trained in the art of using deception & fear to dominate people. The more enterprising among these Peddlers of Faith   begin to sidestep the politician . These Charlatans are wizards of deception .

It is no wonder that political public meetings resemble religious satsangs.  Saints, Swamijis,sants, Babas, Gurujis,Mathes, Devis, Padres, Moulvis of all  shades  are prominent Invitees. It will not be wrong to assume that they will be  our new masters and the Rulers of our country.

                   

The day is not too far away   when surrender of the common man will be complete.  With his  revered Baba guiding him in every aspect of life, it will be fair to assume that reason and power of judgement  will be buried  and then he will  live in  peace…. peace… peace!    ओम्  तत्  सत्,

Has the clock struck?

 

துப்பறிவாளர் பலராமன்in சாகசம்

 

What is it about dialects that make them so fascinating?  A  variety of a language that is peculiar to a specific region or a social group, Some dialects are better known  and are often the subject of much discussion .(Derision and jokes too) Kumbakonam Brahmin Iyer Tamil, which is a variety of Tamil spoken by Tambrahms in Tanjore / Kumbakonam belt  is a case in point.

Many of us have been the butt of  jokes .Not all tamil speaking people  understand this dialect and annoyingly enough,  one has only to utter  a few words in ‘Our தமிழ்” ,say  to a person  in Karnataka  and they are sure to  interrupt and ask “neenga Tanjavoor aa ?” .  The vocabulary, the pronunciation and the accent are different and can often lead to hilarious situations.

This is a humble /cherished attempt to satisfy my urge to compose something in my தாய் மொழி. I have dared to indulge in the experiment. Sincerely hope that I have got the phonetics and spellings right.

 துப்பறிவாளர் பலராமன்in  சாகசம்

Relaxing on his favorite rattan chair with a டபரா  of steaming hot filter coffee, Balaraman was at peace with himself. Wife Padma suddenly burst in  and thrust her mobile phone in his hands and exclaimed “இப்படியும்  உண்டோ “ staring at the screen ,Balaraman whimpered “ஜெகதீஸ்வரி அக்காவுக்கு இப்படி ஒரு சோதனயா !… பகவானே. இப்பவே ராமசுப்புவை பார்த்து நச்சன்னு  4 கேழ்வி  கேட்கணும் . இன்னிக்கு முழுக்க ஜெகதீஸ்வரி  அக்காவுடன் இருந்து  எல்லாத்தையும்  first hand தெரிஞ்சிக்கிறேன்.  நல்ல வேள அக்காவுக்கு Internet Browsing  தெரியாது  and hurriedly left  home.

Ramasubbu 57  Accountants,Manager cum Office boy cum receptionist etc..in a private Firm has served  33 years without a promotion.

Badgered, provoked and pestered incessantly at office and hounded & tormented by  an overbearing better half at home,  something suddenly snapped inside the normally subdued  henpecked ( more appropriately hen stabbed) Ramasubbu.

The Ad in OlX read:” Hyperactive, high on maintenance, fully functional amplifer, somewhat rusty. Lowballs keep away. Can consider giving for free to genuine Collectors”.  For lack of proper category, he mentioned: Wife in item  classification

Balaraman stormed into friend Ramasubbu’s house & bellowed  ”மூளை பேரண்டுபோச்சா? ஆவிஷுட்டு, ஆவிஷுட்டு” But Ramasubbu  lost in his own world  kept Staring at the Roof , a faint smile on his lips.

At the same moment, Jagaseeshwari came down the stairs , broom in hand , a towel over her shoulder. “என்ன பலராம சௌக்கியமா?

Balaraman: “கடவுள்  புண்யத்திலே  எல்லோரும்  சௌக்யமா               

 இருக்கோம்.  இன்னிக்கு முழுக்க   உங்களுக்கு  ஒத்தாசையா   இருக்கலாம்னு வந்திருக்கேன்”

Jagadeeshwari:  இவரை பாரு! இடிச்ச புளி மாதிரி.  தானாச்சு TV ஆச்சு.

பண்ட்ர  தப்பு, அடூரியம்களை  எடுத்து  சொன்னாத்தான்  தெரியறது”

She stomped off towards the bathroom  Seeing the partly open cupboard “எண்ணத்தை சொல்ல ?      தறந்துதான்  கிடக்கும். நானே மூடிடவா ?

Balaraman rushed in and locked the Cupboard & hurried  to check the Kitchen.

Jagadeeshwari: Colour துணிகளை  வெள்ளை  துணிகளோடு washing machine ல

போட க்கூடாதுன்னு கூட  தெரியாதோ ? கொஞ்சம் அறிவை use  செய்ய்

கூடாதோ ? she screamed

Both hurried  into the garden. Balarama  watered a few plants just to test if he could get into her good books.

Jadeeshwari: washing machine லேண்து  துணியை unload பண்ணிடு  அப்படியே

ஒரு  நல்ல  teaஅ   போட்டு கொண்டுவா. ..(Afterthought)    சர்க்கரை  அளவ

 போடு 

Balaraman: Scratching his head “எது  மொதல்ல செய்ய ?

Jadeeshwari: (Menacingly)  புருஷாளுக்கு  எல்லாமே  பிரம்ம  பிரயத்தனம்.

எங்களை பாரு,  இத்தனையும் சமாளித்தது, கூடவே  தோசையும்  வார்போம்.

இதெல்லாம் இந்த மனுஷனுக்கு  கண்ல படவே படாது

Balaraman gradually understood the situation and everything that could follow.

Drawing inspiration from Ramasubbu’s travails & experience he sneaked out stealthily..

Gopal Iyer’s mess at the street corner, a much preferred joint of Tambrahms  in the locality served hot crispy Bajjis and steaming Degree coffee for those who craved for a quick bite. Balaraman sat on the wooden bench

In exactly 18 minutes, Jagadeeshwari arrived at the mess.

Balaraman was stupefied “இங்கேயுமா ?”

Jagadeeshwari: என்ன  பலராமா  எனக்கு    தெரியாததா !   ஒண்ணுமே சரியா பண்ண  தெரியாது இந்த புருஷாளுக்கு. 26 , 30  வயசுல ரெண்டு புள்ளைகள், உன் friend  , இந்த மஹாபிரபுகளோடதான்  வருஷங்களா குப்பே கொட்டறேன். அத்தனேயும் .  ஒண்ணேதான்.  வெறும் குழந்தைத்தனம்.        அவாவா இல்ல ? அடுத்தாத்து  வெங்குட்டுவ  சொல்லு ! ஸ்கூட்டர், சைட் ன்னு எல்லாம் வாங்கீடாண் . இங்க அதுமாதிரி எல்லாம் நடக்குமா ? ம்ம் ஹும் . ஏதோ உலகத்தையே தன தலைமேல் சுமக்கிற மாதிரி. She ranted incessantly.  சரி வா, கிளம்பலாம் !  ஆயிரம் வேலை கிடக்கு.

School லேர்ந்து பேததி வர நேரமாச்சு .அவளை ready பண்ணி dance classக்கு drop பண்ணிஆகனு. அவ pet பூனையை brush பண்ணனு. இதெல்லாத்தையும் யார் சமாளிக்கறது ? A dazed Balaraman thought “there she goes again”

He  got  a fair idea of what was coming . “நா எதுலே வந்து மாட்டிண்டேன், வேணுமா எனக்கு? ” he wondered .Under pretext of advising friend Ramasubbu he approached him and Whispered in his ears                                                   

 शतमानम भवति शतायुः पुरुषः शतेन्द्रिय आयुष्येवेन्द्रियेः प्रतितिष्ठति ||

He Fell at Ramasubbu’s feet in sashtanga Namaskaram and ………..fled as fast as his legs carried him.

H 2 Oh No !

 

H 2  Oh No !

Sometime in 1425 ,Sri Vysaraya Tirtha of Channapattana, an Ardent Devotee of Lord Hanuman built Gaali Anjaneya Temple on the outskirts of Benaval ooru ( town of Guards)  It is believed that earlier the idol of Lord Anjaneya had existed in the open for more than 800 years at  the confluence  of two sacred rivers Vrushabavathi and  Paschimavati ( also known as Paschmavahini). Sri Vysaraya not only performed the sacred punarodharanam for the vigraha using water from the two sacred rivers but also built the beautiful temple with stone steps leading to the river Vrushabavathi. Sri Vysaraya Tirtha built 732 temples for his beloved lord During early times, the River Vrushabavathi was considered a seasonal river that used to flow in monsoons. It was once a serene river flowing through many localities of Bangalore.

Till the mid   1960s, Vrishabavathi river  ,flowing some  55 Kilometers  through Bangalore was considered a prime picnic spot,  visited by a large number of people, some  from far off regions to spend good times on  its banks.The clear waters of the River  was a source of livelihood for thousands   and also a  place for  river water swimming ,lazing around and for  holy Teertha snanam  near the Gali Anjaneya swamy temple

All this changed as Bengaluru grew rapidly. The flood plains and the vegetation filled banks of the river were consumed by burgeoning lust for real estate   In just a short time  the river lost its pristine quality and turned into a stinking, slimy cess pool of filth .It is no wonder that the younger generation recognizes and refers to the once pristine Vrushabavathi river as.” ಕೆಂಗೇರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ” 

The swirling river which once nurtured  variety of avian and aquatic  life and  served the needs of  entire western Bengaluru, has now been  reduced to a toxic, polluted drain The water once utilized as sacred ‘teertha’ has become filthy and harmful. Unchecked flow of sewage & waste, is hastening the death of the river. Sadly, Vrushabavathi is now categorized as one of the fastest ‘deteriorating’ rivers of the country today.

Thanks to pollution and Apathetic attitude of the population, the only sacred river originating and flowing from Bengaluru is hurtling towards extinction.

“Restoring Bengaluru’s polluted Vrushabavathi River to its original glory has become a major consideration for us “ the local  Government announced suddenly. Various initiatives have been announced by the government and local body. “Clean Vrushabavathi” ,’Revive the river’ are the current subjects for discussion in every forum.

Talk of revitalizing River Vrushabavathi has further received a shot in the arm with the following incident:

Unkempt, with long straggly hair , gaunt physique, attired in dirty shirt and pants ,nobody knew anything about him excepting  that every day he would be found walking along the banks of ಕೆಂಗೇರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ  & reaching the Gaali Anjaneya swamy temple before 9.30 am. He would sit on the stone slab adjoining the temple wall  slouched  over, his long uncut hair covering the face (Anniyan style),and keep  muttering incessantly .The lady in charge of cleaning  the temple precinct would  place a plate of  Temple Prasadam and half a paper cup of tea in front of him, exhorting him to eat. But, the food always remained untouched till the woman left. However, on arriving the next day she would find the plate and cup empty and Hanuma, for that was his name ,pre-occupied with his muttering.

Arriving early on Saturday  she did not find Hanuma on the stone slab. At the same time she heard a lot commotion. 

On his regular walk, Hanuma had suddenly jumped into the thick slimy muck of ಕೆಂಗೇರಿದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ . and got entangled  in the  metal grille erected by the local Chapter of DADI ( Distinctly Absurd  Dumb Initiative, apparently  part of the  ಸ್ವಚ್ಛವೃಷಭಾವತಿ ಅಭಿಯಾನ ) to trap Garbage. The contraption  was being operated at that time by a vagabond, drafted by the Mahanagara Nagara Palike  official in charge. He spotted Hanuma and called the official , who busy playing cards  at a  tea shop  near the temple. Even as the cacophony of voices grew louder, Hanuma suddenly burst out from the drain, like Arjun Sarja in’ Mudalvan’ (or Anil Kapoor in ‘Nayak’ if you like) covered in a thick layer of gooey slime sending shock waves among the onlookers.

He was back on his favorite stone slab & resumed his  (ab)Normal’ routine .

New moon day draws huge crowds to the Gaali Anjaneya temple and a near festival atmosphere prevails. On the said day, Sarojamma, after finishing her cleaning chores, placed the customary plate of food and tea before Hanuma. He suddenly tossed his hair back revealing his face. The lady let out a scream. A few temple staff came running. They stared in amazement. The frail and famished Hanuma  now stood at nearly 6Ft. with huge muscles. His eyes opened wide .He  bore a striking resemblance to  Lord Hanuman . But he never spoke a word and  sat on the stone slab in yoga posture   “Vajrakaya Ramaduta Sri Sri Hanuma Swami” screamed Sarojamma and the rest followed.with overflowing emotion. The name stuck !

As News and gossip spread, media began talk shows with a cross section of  Citizens.Many who had no idea of the incident , were still able to hog prime screen time.

However the most sought  after person was Sarojamma. who  received a cosmetic makeover at the behest of her unemployed Husband. He  also proclaimed that she was  Vajrakaya Ramaduta Sri Sri Hanuma  Swamiji’s official spokesperson.

Not to be out done  the government  decided to  test Hanuma  for the unique  powers.he suddenly acquired. The results confirmed the popular opinion flying around . Yes  he was now bio genetically transformed

The poisonous, frothing water  which had wiped  out all  life in the river had altered Hanuma’s genetic code and changed his physique. As media whipped up the hysteria  , an odd assortment of people : Soft ware professional who failed to get his Appraisal, engineer with no  placement offers, jilted lover, failed entrepreneur, ordinary people fed up of challenges  in their lives,  tried  jumping into  ಕೆಂಗೇರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ  to test their luck.

 On condition of anonymity a paalike  official spoke to me and  shared  some inside information . “though  unfortunate, the   event has come with a silver lining!  Our citizens (read voters) were getting a little too impatient with us in respect of the condition  of river Vrushabavathi. and our pathetic  cleaning  projects were always being castigated. But this moron’s antics have overturned everything. People are now actually complimenting us for   letting ಕೆಂಗೇರಿದೊಡ್ಡ ಮೋರಿ  flourish!  &  for preserving the river dirty!”

Holding my arm and lowering his voice he whispered “Our Paalike is also seriously considering packaging the Water of ಕೆಂಗೇರಿ ದೊಡ್ಡ ........err…. Vrushabavathi River and marketing it . We’ve  applied for patent”! People have already decided that the holy water is  “Sanjeevini’ can not only cure all ills but also bestow super human powers .

Oblivious to all the hullabaloo going on around him , one wonders what will happen to Hanuma in the future.But there are strong rumours that Rajamouli ,Ram Gopal Verma,the Producers of Big Boss and a few others are meeting Sarojamma & Husband.  Something cooking??