Indraprastha Giggle & the Holocaust

 

Indraprastha Giggle & the Holocaust

Thanks to  my friend for his terrific.suggestion,I am determined to harass you with this torrent of torture. When I informed him of my intention to write  this  blogpost he demanded his name to be featured prominently. Therefore I have acceded to Pithukuli’s  command . But,then I felt that the idea  of sharing my  candid thoughts  on “.Navigating Life in the Facebook Age” could prove to be remarkably uninspired. Pithukuli  came to my aid once again& added to it, what if this platform existed at the time of Mahabharatha & the Kurukshetra war.?

So here’s   how the Kurukshetra War becomes a bizarre online roast where Bheeshma Pitamaha, Kauravas , Shakuni Mama  and the Pandavas battle it out  using status updates and trending reels

Sanjaya was in deep thought.: Suspecting  that his  Divine   “Divya Drishti” was getting  a bit rusty he decided to create and manage a Facebook page named  “Back to practicing my Divine Vision  #DharmaWins #TotalWarOver."

 Moments after Sanjaya added members of “Kuru”  lineage  in the group  Chat threads & posts began flooding in.   

Sanjaya : Feeling excited—with Dhritarashtra.🔴 LIVE NOW: Streaming the Kurukshetra War straight from the battlefield! 📺⚡ Log  in for live updates, heroic take downs, and strategic insights. You won't want to miss a single second of this historical clash.

Duryodhana logged in to boast about his 11 Akshauhinis ,(the massive combat formation) but a viral status from Lord Krishna crashed the Kaurava servers.

.Day 1 of the Kurukshetra War started with a Facebook Event invite titled "Total Annihilation of Dharma - Bring your own weapons! “

Duryodhana, looking awesome in his silver Armour, went live from the battlefield with the caption: "Feeling mighty, gonna beat up some Pandavas now, might delete later.” #HastinapurRocks #AkshauhiniLife.

 Shakuni Mama kept forwarding shady, unverified forwards. “Forward this to 10 cousins or the Pandavas will take your kingdom!”

Bheeshma Pitamaha finally joined Facebook, but his profile picture was a default sunrise with the quote "Silence is golden.”

 Within seconds, Dusshasana  tagged him in a 50-picture album titled "Hastinapur Fun Trip 3067 BCE.! " filled with blurry photos of himself  & Shakuni Mama plotting at the local Gambling ( dice) joint.

But the comment section immediately broke down. Karna liked his own post,

  Shakuni Mama dropped a comment: ", why you so tense ? Just roll the dice, da!"

Arjuna changed his relationship status to "It's Complicated" after a very public spat with Karna on his timeline.

 Karna had commented on Arjuna’s archery post: "Bro, Photo shopped.! Professional archers use natural lighting."

Meanwhile, Draupadi  re-posted one of her earlier comments on Facebook from the swayamvaram. The caption read: "Feeling cute, might drop a bow later, IDK. 💁‍♀️🏹"

 Her inbox was instantly flooded with friend requests from five very confused brothers and an angry Duryodhana

Meanwhile, on the Pandava side, things were moving at a much slower pace.

 Arjuna was scrolling through his feed in tears. He had just seen a 4K drone video of the Kaurava army and commented: "Bro, these guys have 11 Akshauhinis and I have only 7. I don't want to fight, I just want to go to Mount Raivataka & meditate”

Things hit a boiling point in the middle of the Kurukshetra War.Arjuna checked in on Facebook at the battlefield with the status: "Feeling down. Mentally blocked.”

Lord Krishna immediately replied in the comments section with a 700-verse pinned comment, breaking down the Bhagavad Gita for him. It was essentially a massive motivational thread that read: "Do your duty, kiddo. don’t worry about the likes. DM me if you need more clarity “

 Krishna, the ultimate (trouble maker/shooter ) and strategist, then uploaded the ultimate viral Reel titled "Karma - Just do your duty, Macha!" The Reel became an instant hit, getting millions of views, shares, and a personal check-in from Bhishma Pithamaha himself

.Meanwhile,Duryodhana kept updating his location status to "Safe" inside a lake,

Bheemasena dropped a hilarious reaction image of his heavy mace with the caption, "Tag someone whose head you want to break today!" ,ferreted Duryodhana  out of his hiding place , poked him repeatedly in the ribs, and ruined his whole day.

Finally, after the war, Yudhishtira posted a status update that read: "We won, but at what cost?” The comment section immediately blew up with Draupadi replying: "Cost?! You literally staked me in a game of digital rummy”,

“O’ Bharatshreshtha  the battle is done & dusted .Now Get off your moral high horse and DM King Virata to reserve his beautiful Viratanagara resort for the six of us. No better place to unwind ”

The internet finally broke with  Sanjaya sharing  the ultimate post-war status: "Peace is finally here. Will be back soon with latest   Divya Drishti  updates”  .  #DharmaWins #TotalWarOver.