Holy Rasam ! Leaf Me Alone

 

Holy Rasam !

              Leaf Me Alone

 

Most of us would have been to a south Indian wedding, but for the people who haven’t, or attending for the first time let me give you a glimpse of what it feels like to be there , with some special guidance too.

The most important event  at the wedding is not the ceremony where the groom ties the knot. It’s the next immediate reaction - a minimum crowd of around 250 people scampering to find a seat in the dining room. A fight with strangers, catering staff or even members of the Host’s family  trying to push strangers  away, and  triumphantly taking  your  seat at a table that looks like Christ’s last supper.

Welcome to the high stakes, maximum-gravity arena of the South Indian wedding feast  

                  [sadya-സദ്യ, Aritaku Bhojanam -అరిటాకు భోజనం                                          or  ThalaiVazhaielai  virundhu தலைவாழை இலை விருந்து ].

A long paper is rolled out  on the steel tables and a guy follows  up folding it on the sides preventing it from flying away and falling on the one sitting opposite to us. That’s when you  realize, there is a similar long row of people sitting right opposite staring right into your eyes, and shall witness what’s about to unfold. A large, green, non-polluting, sustainable, healthy with antimicrobial properties banana   leaf is unfolded  and placed right in front of you , waiting to unleash   its long list of healthy properties. Though it does look like you’re  dining in the age of dinosaur  and maybe the leaf in itself looks edible, there’s more coming your way. There are 2 parts to the leaf, the top portion houses all the poriyals, curries, “sides”, appetizers. The bottom part of your leaf is reserved exclusively for the mountains of rice that you  can consume and for another purpose which we shall discover as we  pig out

When you take a peep to the left ,at the distant  end of the tables, a group of people are lined up and on cue start heading our way, like a military parade but  with vessels,Trays & buckets of delicious food in their hands.

To start with, a sweet is placed on the bottom  right end corner of your leaf. We always start with something sweet for a celebratory occasion. Then they place a cutlet or an appetizer like paneer tikka or a vegetable spring roll, which,though alien  for the “South”  leaf itself  and “our” people, you  accept with a pinch of inclusivity. Then a variety of vegetable curries made of potatoes, beans lentils or other vegetables  follows, that are placed one beside the other, ending the row with an avial —  a mix of 13 vegetables, ground coconut & curry leaves and with a single spoon of pickle and salt in the end

Then comes a person with a large stainless steel basin and an extra-large curved paddle, to push a humongous quantity of rice and he expects you to create a crater in the middle. Before you wonder why,  350ml of steaming hot sambhar gets poured in the middle with a lot of vegetables floating as they were. You only get 12 seconds to mix the rice and sambhar to prevent it  sliding down the leaf So  continue to look for a “side”, the spicy potato curry   placed exactly 30 degrees north of your sambhar.You also get served a white, crispy Appalam fried in oil which you may consume in numbers , until the server gets a little Apprehensive  about your oil intake.

The “rice guy” as he is named is appearing before you  at the sight of your empty banana leaf. He just waits for your nod to fill the space again with another mountain of rice and ensures you create  the same crater again. Now you  can opt for   a variety of gravy like vatha kulambu, mor kulambu or just rasam which helps in digestion of all life sustaining Sludge  that fill your tummy. If you choose rasam, which is a spicy watery tamarind and tomato soup, your skill to not let it overflow and drip down on yourselves or the persons sitting on either side to you will be put to its ultimate  test . Suddenly, a server arrives and splashes a golden, piping-hot river of rasam directly into your  crater.. It is highly volatile, structurally liquid, and actively looking for an exit toward your lap.Do not panic. Gently sweep the outer walls of the rice volcano into the centre pool, creating a thick, manageable slurry. Scoop the mixture and move it toward your mouth immediately. Speed is your ally; surface tension is your enemy. Tilt your upper body forward at a precise 38 1/2 -degree angle over the leaf. If a drop falls, it must fall back onto the leaf, not your clothes.

With the slurping sound and your eloquent dance with rasam , we become a sight of awe to the beings sitting opposite.

Congratulations! you successfully finished the rasam.You have conquered the boss level of traditional south Indian dining.

If you still have your energy and respect  indulge  in another round of rice with curd & tangy pickle or see the light at the end of the leaf, we’re in for a treat to our taste buds .

Though you’ve come to the end of the leaf and your appetite, a small cup of payasam is the icing on the cake which we will  always crave for another round. After  the battle and the drama on the leaf, when you look up to face your embarrassment in front of others, we shall be greeted with nobody but ourselves finishing up last while those 250 people  sitting next to us rushing  towards ice cream and gulab jamoon counter, which we might think to leave  for the next wedding we attend together.

You can now fold your banana leaf inward to signal your absolute victory, and walk away with your pride & pristine clothes intact.